Why do Indian parents compare their children with others?

As an Indian, you must have experienced your parents comparing you with your classmates or relatives at some point in your life. It’s a common practice among Indian parents to use other children as benchmarks for their own kids’ achievements and failures. But why do they do it? Is it just a cultural norm or is there something more to it? In this blog post, we will delve into the reasons behind this behavior and try to understand the psychology behind comparison culture among Indian parents. So grab a cup of chai and let’s explore!


It’s no secret that Indian parents have high expectations for their children. They want them to be successful in school and in their future careers. But why do they often compare their children to others?

There are a few possible reasons. First, they may want their child to know that they expect them to do well. By setting the bar high and comparing them to other successful people, they’re sending the message that they believe in their ability to succeed.

Second, it could be a way of motivati ing their child to do better. By pointing out the positive examples in others, they may be hoping it will inspire their child to work harder and reach those same goals.

Finally, it could simply be a cultural thing. In India, parents often compare their children to others as a symbol of pride and accomplishment. They may be showing off their child’s achievements or trying to give them an advantage in life by boosting their self-esteem and confidence.

Comparison as a tool of motivation

Comparison as a tool of motivation is often used by Indian parents as a way to encourage their children to do better. By comparing their child’s achievements to those of other children, they hope to motivate their child to work harder and achieve more. However, this approach can often backfire, leading to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity in children. If used too frequently, comparison can damage a child’s self-esteem and cause them to doubt their abilities.

Instead, parents should focus on providing positive reinforcement and support for their children. By offering unconditional love and praise for efforts and successes, both big and small, children can be encouraged to strive for excellence without feeling inadequate or insecure. Parents should also ensure that their child is not exposed to too much comparison from external sources such as peers, teachers or the media. This can help them develop a healthy self-image and the confidence they need to reach their full potential.

The issue with comparison

One of the issues with comparisons is that they can lead to feelings of insecurity and inferiority. When children are constantly compared to others, they may start to believe that they are not good enough. This can damage their self-esteem and make them feel like they can never measure up. Additionally, comparison can foster a competitive environment between siblings and classmates, which can lead to rivalry and resentment. Finally, when parents compare their children to others, it sends the message that success is only achieved by being better than those around you. This perspective can put unnecessary pressure on kids and make them feel like they have to constantly strive for perfection.

In conclusion, comparisons can be detrimental to a child’s well-being and development. It is important for parents to focus on praising their children for their individual qualities and successes, rather than comparing them to others.

Reasons Indian parents compare their children with others

It’s no secret that Indian parents love to compare their children with others. Whether it’s in terms of grades, extracurricular activities, or even just physical appearance, Indian parents always seem to find a way to compare their kids to other people’s.

There are a few reasons why Indian parents might do this. For one, they might feel like they need to justify their own parenting choices by showing that their child is doing better than someone else’s. Additionally, comparison can be a way for Indian parents to motivate their children to do better and strive for more. Finally, some parents might simply believe that comparison is the only way to fairly assess their child’s progress and achievements.

Whatever the reasons may be, it’s clear that comparison is something that many Indian parents engage in. And while it can sometimes be done in a positive and constructive manner, it can also lead to negative consequences for both the children and the parents involved.

Cultural Perspective of Comparison

In India, it is not uncommon for parents to compare their children with others, whether it be in terms of academics, extracurricular activities, or even physical appearance. There are a variety of reasons why Indian parents may do this, ranging from wanting their child to excel in all aspects of life to simply wanting to foster healthy competition.

While some Westerners may view this practice as harmful or detrimental to a child’s self-esteem, in many cases, it can actually be quite beneficial. For instance, by constantly comparing their child to others, Indian parents are instilling in them a sense of competition and drive to succeed. Additionally, this practice can also help children learn how to set realistic goals for themselves and strive to reach new levels of achievement.

So while there may be some negative connotations associated with comparisons made by Indian parents, ultimately, these comparisons can serve as motivation for children to excel in all areas of their lives.

How to deal with comparison?

It is tough when you are constantly being compared to others, but it is something that many Indian parents do to their children. Here are some tips on how to deal with the comparison:

  • Talk to your parents about how you feel. It can be difficult to open up, but it is important to communicate with them about how their words make you feel.
  • Try to focus on your own accomplishments and goals. It can be easy to get wrapped up in what others are doing, but remember that everyone is on their own journey.
  • Talk to someone else who understands. It can be helpful to talk to someone who has also experienced the pressure of being compared to others. They can offer support and understanding.
  • Find things to be proud of about yourself. Making a list of your own accomplishments and strengths can help you feel better about yourself and remind you that you are unique.
  • Remind yourself that comparison is not healthy. Comparison can lead to feelings of self-doubt and lack of motivation, so try to recognize when it is happening and take steps to move away from it.
  • Focus on what you can control. You can’t control how others view you, so instead focus on things that you can control, such as your actions and attitude.
  • Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your successes and take time out for self-care. This can help boost your confidence and make you feel more secure in yourself.


Indian parents compare their children to others in an effort to provide the best possible future for them. While this may seem harsh, it is driven by a desire to ensure that their child has better opportunities and experiences than those around him or her. Ultimately, we must recognize that comparison can be both positive and negative, but with communication and understanding between parents and children, comparisons can be used as a tool of motivation rather than criticism.

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